The weekend Punters and Sports fans Dream of is just hours away! Start your preparation as soon as possible punters because we have got a mighty weekend ahead of us. When I say preparation I mean your Misso or Mum or Dad or cousin… Pretty much anybody you know that could prevent punters Justice. By Justice I mean that annoying Phone CALL that stops you from backing that 10 to 1 Runner your Mate just text you to “BACK the SHIT out of it “because he “Knows the Owner“. Obviously there is a really good chance your mate is full of shit and the Donkey runs dead last but that my fellow punter is not the point, the point is We need to be distraction free. So heres some advice from the Team at WHOYAON. THINK ABOUT IT!
1st take care of Potentially the Biggest Distraction of all, Your Missus. Usually I would tell you to come bearing Gifts, I would recommend Cash because I mean come on the Female species Loves cash! However I do understand that we are fast approaching a weekend where Cash is about as valuable as Cameron Smith to the Melbourne Storm this weekend! So alternatively you have a few options…
1.Have a deep and Meaningful with her about”Where this Relationship is going”– You know they LOVE that sort of shit and will easily give you the Green light for multiple beverages with the boys!
2. Do some things off her List – That lightbulb she has been asking you to change for 6 months, Wash her Car, fix the dryer, clean the windows or Mow the Lawn (while backing a winner in the first at Te Rapa) all of these things will give at least 2 days of “BEERS with DA BOYZ”
3. Offer to take her parents out to Breakfast on Saturday Morning but be sure to pick a cafe with a decent big breakfast not that leafy green Hipster shit that her MUM keeps telling you to try. Don’t forget to Steal the form guide out of the Cafes Paper… 2 birds 1 stone am I right?! When her Dad says “Backing any winners Lately” You Say ………….
4. Organise that Blind date between her “not so attractive friend” and your mate. Be sure to Stitch up that Mate that usually texts you straight after the 20 to 1 longshot wins Saying “IBackedThat”.Typical…never before it runs always after it wins.
5.Last but not Least…Tell Her its a “Work thing” ! if she says what work thing? Tell her its the Annual FTB Retreat and the Boss said you cannot take mobile calls all afternoon. Also tell her that the Boss said if the “Work Thing” goes well the company might put on drinks at the casino that evening and make sure you tell her that the Boss said if the “Work Thing” Goes Really well all of the staff might fly to Sydney for the night! But thats just what the Boss said……
With the Key Distractions Taken Care of its now time to Focus on the Punting.